My smile widened, reading the card attached to the flowers. Something to make you feel better. My heart fluttered with excitement. No one had ever done anything as thoughtful as having flowers delivered to my job before.
By my co-workers expressions, I could tell they were equally impressed. Sarah tapped me, “Crack open this gift basket. We want to see what you got.”
Hot cocoa, bars of white chocolate, aspirin, and a heating pad. It was literally something to make me feel better. After complaining about cramps, she got me a basket of goodies to help me get through my day.
“I’m so confused,” Sarah chuckled, grabbing the heating pad and dangling it in the air.
“I have cramps,” I shrugged.
“You’re telling me your new boyfriend got all this for you cramps,” Camilla asked. “Does he have a brother?
‘Cause I need that in my life.”
“Not a boyfriend. Just a friend,” I corrected her. She was definitely not my boyfriend, but if she continued spoiling me with attention, she could be anything she wanted. Still, I wasn’t comfortable telling my nosy co-workers that the reason I’d been smiling nonstop for weeks was because of a new woman in my life, instead of the man they imagined.
“Whatever,” Sarah teased and set off to her office. She called out over her shoulder, “That’s more than a friend, even if you don’t want to admit it.”
As the excitement of the morning flower delivery faded and everyone else returned to their work duties, I sat at my desk, daydreaming of her. It was hard enough to keep my mind off this woman, who came into my life and turned it upside down, but the gifts only made it harder to think of anything besides Rorie.
Rorie, the woman who changed my perspective on life in general, with her sun-burnt complexion, long hair she kept in neat cornrows, and the dimple in her left cheek. The dimple was what got me, something I jokingly told her all the time. She smiled at me and I felt special, even before I knew her name.
She lived in my apartment complex and I saw her regularly as I rushed to the car for work. She always made a point to wave and flash her stunning smile. When my head wasn’t up my ass I returned the favor.
“You okay,” she asked one morning.
I was crying, in the middle of a full fledged panic attack because my car wouldn’t start, my six year old, Braxton, needed to be at school, and I needed to be at work. I called everyone I thought might come to my aid in such a bind, only to find myself stranded with a fussy little kid, which after six years of being a single mom seemed to be the story of my life.
“My car won’t start. It’s just the straw that broke the camels back.”
“I’ll give you a ride. You just have to do me one favor,” Rorie smiled.
I looked at the masculine woman with her pants hanging off her waist and wondered what the hell she wanted.
“You just have to stop crying,” she said. “Its breaking my heart.”
I tried to tell her I worked clear across town, almost an hour in traffic, but Rorie insisted. After dropping off Braxton, we set off to my job, making small talk along the way.
“I’m an assistant,” I shrugged. “Not very impressive, but it pays the bills for now.”
“Nothing to be ashamed of. I’m a freelance graphic designer, which is just a fancy way of saying I’m only employed four days out the month,” Rorie joked. “Its cool, though. I tried the corporate thing and didn’t too much like it. My side gigs bring in enough money for me to eat. I teach Zumba and help my dad. He’s a contractor.”
“Jack of all trades, I see.”
Traffic was especially bad that day. I was so caught up in our conversation I barely noticed, though. We spent twenty minutes talking about our favorite books. I laughed at her confessed love for country music, before agreeing to listen to a few tracks on her Luke Bryan CD. Then I convinced her into letting me sit in on one of her Zumba classes on Thursday night for free, of course.
“What time do you get off,” Rorie asked, as she pulled into the parking lot of the consulting firm.
“Usually around six,” I told her. “Braxton gets picked up after school by the day care, so I can have my sister pick him up from there I guess.”
“Cool. I’ll probably be back around five-thirty. Just in case you decide to leave early today.”
“What? No, I couldn’t ask you to do that. It’s so out of your way.”
“You didn’t ask,” Rorie looked at me intensely, as she parked the car. “See you when you get off.”
I didn’t actually expect her to be there when I got off work, but Rorie was parked out front. The ride home was filled with equally interesting conversation. She took me to pick up Braxton and even picked up burgers for us to have for dinner. When we arrived back home she told me, “I took a look at your car. I noticed when I got back the keys were in the ignition. I hope you don’t mind.”
“You should have stolen it, I could have filed an insurance claim.”
Rorie laughed at my dry humor, “As exciting as insurance fraud sounds, I don’t think anyone is going anywhere in that car any time soon. Looks like your transmissions out.”
Before I could even begin to stress about what to do with my shitty car and it’s shitty transmission, Rorie offered a solution. She’d take me to work on the days she could and whatever days she couldn’t, I could drive myself. I thought the woman was crazy, but without any better idea, accepted her offer. Plus, she made my morning commute a bit more cheerful.
That was six months ago when our friendship began. Since then, Rorie had babysat Braxton when he was sick and couldn’t go to school and helped me negotiate with the car salesman to get the best deal I could on my brand new sedan. She had taken Braxton and I to a baseball game, fishing at the lake, and go-kart racing. She made her mango salsa chicken breasts for me at least twenty times, painted my bedroom walls lavender and then back to their original gray when I decided lavender was too loud, and kissed me. The kiss came three weeks before the flowers and gifts. I couldn’t say it came as a surprised.
Rorie didn’t have to say anything for me to know she was gay, though she still felt obligated to nervously admit the truth out loud. I saw the way she looked at me, sometimes. Hell, sometimes I purposefully did things to catch her eye, splashing the perfume she liked against my neck, dressing to impress any day I knew I’d see her, and I could even admit to a little bit of flirting here and there. I liked the attention. I didn’t get noticed very often, so it was nice to have someone compliment a new hairstyle, new pair of earrings, or new color nail polish.
She kissed me, while Braxton was in the other room playing, waiting for the two of us to finish with dinner. She puckered her plump lips and kissed me. They felt like rose petals. They stole my breath away. They made my heart skip a beat.
She kissed me and I pushed her away. Not because I didn’t like her delicious lips, but because my son was in the other room. She looked at me with shame written all over her face. I struggled to form a thought that wasn’t kissing her back. Eventually, I managed to tell her, “Let’s put a pin in that until Braxton goes to bed.”
That night, it seemed Braxton would never go to sleep. By eleven, I tucked him away, feeling my heart begin to race, knowing Rorie was in the other room. I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. The kiss was heavenly, but Rorie was my friend. And a woman. I’d never even considered myself attracted to another woman, but suddenly I was considering kissing one. A part of me was dying to know if it might be better the second time, since I was prepared to kiss her back.
“I’m sorry, Lauren. I don’t know what came over me,” Rorie said. “Its just that I care for you. And you’re beautiful. I just got my feelings mixed up and I’m sorry.”
“You’re rambling.”
“Sorry,” Rorie said, again.
I looked at her and something came over me, “Kiss me, again.”
“What!”
“Kiss me, again,” I demanded.
She hesitated, but couldn’t pass on the opportunity. Rorie stood right in front of me, looked me in my eyes, as she cradled the back of my neck in her hand and pulled me into a kiss that gave me goosebumps. My knees felt weak, as her tongue wrapped around mine. Before I knew it, I was moaning into her mouth.
Again, I pushed her away. Rorie’s usual bravado seemed to disappear, making room for the embarrassment making her cheeks turn different shades of red. I bit my bottom lip and tried to regain my composure, “You’re a really good kisser.”
She laughed and grabbed my hand, pulling me to the couch where unfortunately we didn’t start making out like two teenagers. Rorie wanted to talk about our feelings. She had already confessed her crush, so it was my turn to respond. I said a bunch of nothing, “I mean I don’t know.”
I mostly avoided the subject and pretended like I didn’t notice Rorie’s relentless pursuit of me. Somehow, she managed to carve even more time out of her hectic schedule to spend time with me and my son. Weekends were filled with the three of us going on adventures. We went to the movies, to the museum, and to the arcade. She’d reach out to grab my hand and I would let her because as always we were having a blast.
We always ended our time together with an intense make out session where I eventually felt myself on the edge of losing control and pushed her away before anything more happened. I thought about sleeping with her. If her kisses were that good, I could only imagine how good sex with Rorie might be. But, I knew I shouldn’t because I still wasn’t sure.
During time away from Rorie, I mostly thought of her. I pretty much knew what she wanted without her saying. What I wanted was still a mystery. I didn’t know if I could actually be with her. I hadn’t even really decided if I was attracted to her, even though I couldn’t get enough of her soft kisses and I’d woken up many mornings wet between my legs from dreams about her. I guessed that meant I was, but if I was attracted to a woman I guessed that made me a lesbian. I didn’t feel like a lesbian, though.
I didn’t know what I felt, which most times frustrated me. Around Rorie, none of it mattered, but away from her the questions existing made me dizzy. What the hell was I doing?
The question popped up, again, as I noticed the flowers sitting on my desk before I left the office for the day. I wanted to take them home, but decided it would be nice to have a tiny piece of her with me at work.
“So, tell me more about the new guy,” Sarah said, as she locked her office door. Sarah was practically my boss, but we were good friends. Braxton played with her two sons Hunter and Ross, all the time. And we told each other many drunken confessions at happy hour.
“Not much to tell,” I shrugged, not wanting to say too much. Not like I could. I knew nothing about the new relationship I’d found myself in. “Its a new thing. Just testing the waters.”
“I think it’s great. You’ve been single for so long.”
“Thanks for reminding me,” I chuckled. She seemed to forget why I didn’t put too much effort into dating.
The last boyfriend had been nearly two years prior, right when I got the job as her assistant. I thought I was on the top of the world with a new job and a new guy in my life. A week after moving in with him, I realized new was only good in one of the instances. We got into an argument. I said something he didn’t like. He punched me in the face like his heavyweight title depended on it.
I called Sarah the following morning and told her I couldn’t come in. Hoping to salvage my new job, if nothing else, I told her what happened. Within fifteen minutes, she showed up with her husband, the retired Marine and her older brother, the MMA fighter, who helped me pack all my stuff and move off the premises without any lip from the punk ass who blackened my eye.
“He makes you happy. I can tell,” Sarah said. “You deserve that.”
“Thank you,” I nodded. It was one of those moments where the technicalities didn’t matter. So what? Rorie made me happy in a way I didn’t know existed.
“Don’t mess it up,” Sarah teased.
She laughed. I didn’t. She meant the words as a joke, but they were serious to me. I didn’t want to mess up what I had, a wonderful friend, who’d give up the shoes on her feet so I could walk in them. I didn’t want to mess things up.
“Did you like your gifts,” Rorie asked later that evening, as she opened the door to her apartment and let me inside.
“I did,” I smiled. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her cheek, “You’re so sweet.”
“Just wanted to make sure you were comfortable today.”
“Thank you,” I said , looking into her brown eyes and feeling my heart melting in my chest.
“Where’s Brax?”
“At my sister’s with his cousins.”
“Cool, you just came over to get your goodnight kiss,” Rorie asked with a sly smile on her face. The shyness she had after our first kiss had since left the building, but I liked the familiarity of her confidence.
I nodded, as we sat on the couch. “Yea. Maybe, a little bit more.”
I held my breath, as I moved my shaky hand and placed it on her thigh. I had no clue if the flirty touch was having any affect on her. I moved closer and closer towards her crotch. Rorie laughed and moved away, “That tickles. What are you doing?”
My cheeks felt like someone had set them on fire. If not for my mocha brown skin, my embarrassment would have been evident. I pushed passed it, though, “I want to make love to you, Rorie.”
“You don’t have to do that, Lauren,” she said, which surprised me. I thought that’s what she wanted. I placed my hand between her legs, again, rubbing what I prayed was the right spot. Rorie started breathing heavy, letting me know I’d somehow hit the jackpot. Beginner’s luck.
“Do you like that?”
“Lauren,” Rorie gasped, trying to resist. At this point the circular motion of my hand had become more intense and her legs started to shake. “Lauren, stop.”
I moved my hand away, but had no intention of leaving her alone. I got on my knees in between her legs and in front of the couch. I looked up at her and could see the passion in her eyes. My heart felt like thunder in my chest, but I refused to back down. I told her, again, “I want to make love to you.”
“Lauren, stop playing okay?”
“Is this how you want me,” I asked, watching her eyes widen with excitement. I tugged at her shorts and caught glimpses of her bikini line. Suddenly, my mouth began to water.
“Okay,” Rorie said, pulling her shorts back up. “Can we turn off the lights before we do this?”
I agreed. She reached over and turned off the lamp. I watched the shadowy outline of her remove her shorts and underwear before sitting down. When I reached out to touch her, I felt the muscles of her bare thighs. Rorie spread her legs and I knew the moment of truth was finally upon me.
I found my way to the soft mound of flesh and realized I hadn’t thought this through. What the fuck are you doing, Lauren, the voice in the back of my head screamed in a panic.
“You don’t have to do this,” Rorie said, again, sensing my hesitation.
“I want to,” I told her, but had no clue where to start. I decided things might be easier if I could actually see what I was doing, so I reached over and turned on the lamp.
Rorie scrambled to grab a throw pillow to cover herself. She whined in a high pitch voice that was unrecognizable, “No lights!”
“I can’t see.”
“That’s the point.”
I tried to reason with her, “We both know, I don’t exactly know what I’m doing. I don’t want to mess this up.”
Rorie relented. She moved the pillow away, as I assumed the position on my knees. I was eye to eye with her shaved pussy. My mouth watered, looking at the cherry tattoo. Something inside of me just clicked and I pounced on her clit mouth first.
She bit her lip and started to whimper, as my head bobbed up and down. I licked and sucked and slobbered and slurped on her clit, watching her eyes roll to the back of her head all the while. Rorie tried her hardest to hold in the sounds of her pleasure, but the moans kept slipping out.
“Lauren,” she cried out, as my tongue tasted the juices seeping from her folds.
I was moaning my damn self, as her sweetness overwhelmed my taste buds. I wanted more. I licked faster. I dipped my tongue into her center and both our moans got louder. She pushed the back of my head, forcing me deeper into her warm tightness. Her pussy wrapped around my tongue and I pushed hard inside of her.
“Fuck,” Rorie moaned, bucking against me and fucking my face. “Don’t stop! Fuck! Don’t stop! I’m cumming.”
I strained my jaw and thrust my tongue inside of her as deep as I could. She held the back of my head, wrapped her legs around me, and threw her head back in satisfaction. I felt the splash against my tongue and my adrenaline started to rush. Her orgasm was sweeter than I expected. I got drunk on her, lapping up every drop carefully.
Rorie pushed me back onto the floor and jumped on top of me. She kissed me like she never had before. Then I felt her fingers tugging at my jeans. I panicked, “Wait!”
“Please,” she begged in my ear, tugging harder. “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this.”
“I’m on my period,” I said, completely embarrassed, even though I told her earlier in the day with ease. “Remember?”
“Hell,” Rorie chuckled and sat up.
“I could do you, again,” I said, probably a little too enthusiastically. The taste of her pussy was stuck to my tongue. I had no idea pleasuring her would be so enjoyable.
She raised her left eyebrow with interest then laughed, “You don’t have to do that, Lauren.”
“Come on, Rorie. I was just baby a few minutes ago. What happened?”
Rorie laughed harder and retrieved the throw pillow again to hide herself, “I don’t think I can handle too much more of all that. What are you trying to do to me?”
“Was it not good,” I asked, too afraid to look at her. I started doubting myself. Maybe, her moans and whimpers had been just a show. Women faked it all the time.
“You couldn’t tell. You had me screaming like a little girl.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“No. Just not something I typically do,” She said. Rorie was quiet for a second, “Have you ever…done that before?”
I shook my head, “No. I told you I hadn’t.”
“Oh,” Rorie said. She seemed to struggle with finding the words to say, which made me self-conscious. She told me, “That was amazing, baby.”
I couldn’t hold back my smile. Once again, I felt my cheeks start to burn with embarrassment and covered my face in my hands.
Rorie pulled me close to her, “Don’t be that way.”
“Sorry,” I whispered, laying my head on her chest. I looked up at her, “Can I ask you something?”
“As long as it’s not about my tattoo.”
I laughed, “That’s exactly what it’s about. I wouldn’t take you for that type of girl.”
Rorie laughed, “Well, now you know. I’m a cherry tattoo girl. Or at least I used to be. I wish I never got the damn thing, but I was young, dumb, and full of cum.”
I lifted the pillow and took another look at the thing. I didn’t notice the name at first. I giggled, “Lateshia?”
“I was seventeen and in love,” Rorie laughed. “Hell, at least I thought I was. Being dumb, I actually thought me and that crazy bitch would be together forever.”
“So, what happened?”
“She wasn’t really into me. I was seventeen and she was twenty-six. I think she just got off on turning young girls out. I just fell for it. Dumb as hell.”
“Sounds like you were a typical teenage girl to me.”
“Fast in the ass?”
“Yep. That’s why I thank God for giving me a son.”
Rorie was quiet for a long time. I enjoyed the moment, laying in her arms and listening to her heart beat.
She looked at me, “Do you worry how what we’re doing will affect him?”
“I worry about how everything will affect him,” I sighed. “And to be honest I don’t even know what we’re doing half the time.”
“I’m falling in love with you,” She said, looking me dead in my eyes.
I smiled, but felt overwhelmed by what she said and by what was happening between us. For weeks, I had been trying to make sense of how I felt about Rorie. I didn’t know if I was falling in love with her. I guessed I had been all along. The idea of loving her was actually exhilarating.
She grabbed my hand and was as gentle with me as she always was, “I know this is all new for you.”
“No,” I interrupted her. “I mean it is new and crazy, but every minute with you is like a dream I don’t want to wake up from.”
She blushed, “I don’t want you to feel pressured.”
“I don’t. I want this. I want to love you. I want you to show me what its like to really be in love and be happy.”
“You’re sure this is what you want?”
I nodded, before laying my head on her chest. She held me tight and, as always, everything felt right. I looked at her, “I’m falling in love with you, too.”